WHY DO I EVEN TRY ANYMORE?

just my damn luck.. the lyft driver brought me to the wrong location (he brought me to a cambria hotel and i even told him that i didn't think he brought me to the correct hotel before i got outta the lyft vehicle). when i got outta the lyft vehicle and asked the front desk if they had any interviews, they said "no." then i called lyft back and the same driver picked me up- i felt like bitching him out but i just called the CORRECT HOTEL and told them that my driver brought me to the wrong location and i asked if it was still possible to come in for an interview and of course, she said "no." so now we're on my way back to my apartment- i'm posting on my blog while he's driving to distract me from going off on him. so i might be motivated to take classes to improve my cognition that i seen online yesterday, so i can ACTUALLY drive myself and not waste my damn time. i could tell the lyft driver felt bad because at first, he tried to blame ME for putting the incorrect address in, then i showed him my lyft app and how i had ANOTHER ADDRESS entered and it brought me to the WRONG city and location altogether. i should've figured that people would jump to assuming it was MY FAULT because i'm disabled- so OH! THAT MAKES ME TOO DAMN STUPID TO DO ANYTHING CORRECTLY! tim doesn't have to deal with this shit even though he IS a drunk driver. OH! BUT HE MANAGED TO GET HIS LICENSE BACK ALONG WITH A JOB AND IT WAS LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED TO HIM! FUCK ME. IT MUST BE THAT I DON'T GO TO CHURCH ENOUGH! RIGHT CATHY?! or it's gotta be that i'm not grateful enough for what i got! IT'S GOTTA BE MY FAULT! sorry we can't ALL be drunk drivers who miraculously turn our lives around, get married, have kids, kill one guy, and NEARLY kill another person who we can just attack because we think we can get cocky that God managed to give us another chance.. your time ISN'T over. you and your smart ass son will see the consequences at judgment day. yeah! LET'S TEACH OUR COCKY ASS DAUGHTER TO TALK SHIT TO A VICTIM OF A CAR ACCIDENT HER BROTHER NEARLY KILLED HER IN BECAUSE WE'RE PISSED ABOUT HAVING TO PAY MONETARILY FOR OUR SON'S MISTAKES! even though you jackasses haven't said anything to me lately- it'll NEVER be erased from my memory because NONE of you (but tim) has EVER apologized to me. i can't catch a fucking break. i can guarantee that the woman who was in charge of hiring me doesn't call me and she says she's filled the position when i call her to reschedule the interview. i already cried a little while telling abdul what was wrong, he tried to reassure me by saying that we could call the woman who was doing the interviews later and schedule another interview with her, but this time have my pca put in the address for lyft.. so basically making it look like it was MY fault and error because I AM the DISABLED IDIOT who HAD to have MADE THE MISTAKE in my app! the ONLY fucking reason why i KEEP trying to get a job is because i have a bad memory and i forget how frustrated i was attempting to do the steps to get hired again. so i'll just keep getting fucked and forgetting about it until I'M FUCKING DEAD.